? Love:

Love, who understands
Named by millions
Misused by more
No two the same
Yet we seek it
Long for it
Even kill
In hopes to find it
If by chance we do
We’ll toss it aside
Lost in some concept
Never finding the truth

Six Thirty:

          Bill William tossed and turned that morning trying to sleep. After working all night, he wasn’t used to sleeping with the sun shining through the window. Today was his wife’s birthday.

          The company he just started working for had come up with new work shifts no one liked. He was stuck on the Six PM to Three AM shift. The company said the employees got to vote shortly, on which, of the many shifts they’ve tried over the last two years. Bill just got off the swing shift. This was his first week on the new graveyard. Well, what they used to call graveyard.

          Bill could not complain too much. All he did as a night watchman was sit in one of the newest vaults ever built. The vault was ten floors underground. That place had more alarms, bells and whistles than any other place he had worked.

          Bill looked at his alarm clock. “Great,” he told himself. “I haven’t even been asleep for three hours and I’m wide awake. I might as well get up and putter around the house till I get tired.”

          After getting dressed, Bill walked down stairs and found his wife sleeping in her recliner.  When he kissed her forehead, she woke up and asked, “What time is it?”

          Looking at his watch, Bill smiled down and said, “Six thirty, love. Sorry. I couldn’t sleep. Happy Birthday”

          “Well, go for coffee then. I didn’t sleep well last night with you gone. You know how much noise you can make and I want to sleep,” she muttered. "Thanks."

          “Okay, honey,” he said.  “I’ll be down at the coffee shop if you need me.” He closed the door and left.

          As Bill walked into the corner cafe, he looked around for the people he normally talked to at this time of day. He smiled at the server and asked, “Hey, Shirley, where is everyone?”

          “They all left. You’re running late today. Why?” she asked over her shoulder as she took some plates of food to two ladies.

          “I’m not late. It’s only,” he paused as he looked at his watch with a questioning look on his face. “It’s still Six thirty PM? Hell! My watch stopped. What time is it?

          One of the men sitting at the counter looked at his watch. “Eleven fifty six,” he told Bill.

          “Thanks. I guess I sleep a lot longer than I thought. I better stop by Wal-Mart and pick up a watch battery today,” Bill said as he sat down.

          “So,” Shirley said. “What’ll it be? Tea or coffee?”

          “Go ahead and make it coffee. I have to go find something to put over my windows to keep the sun out so I can sleep,” Bill told her.

          Shirley leaned over as she handed him a cup of coffee. “You know what my old man did when he worked the night shift down in Texas two years ago?”

          “No. What did he do?” Bill laughed.

          Shirley gave Bill one of those “Do you want to hear this or not?” looks that she gave out often and then went on talking,” “He got some of that aluminum-backed foam from the lumberyard and a roll of duck tape. Cut chunks to fit the windows. Duck taped around them and then used long tack pines to put them over the windows. It made our bedroom darker then a coal mine shaft.”

          “Thanks. I’ll look into that after I get this watch running. You know how I hate not knowing what time it is,” Bill said as he sipped his coffee.

          Bill looked down at his watch again. It wasn’t like him to let the battery go dead. “Hey, Shirley, get a load of this. My watch stopped at Six thirty PM on the 16th of March,” Bill said with a smile.

          Shirley looked at him with a “So what?” look.

          Bill laughed. “This is the 16^th of March. Don’t you see? It stopped tonight.”

          “You probably had it set wrong,” Shirley said.

          “Probably not. You know how much I depend on this watch. I would have seen it last night at work. Oh well, I’ll get a battery and keep an eye on it. I can’t have a watch changing dates on me. Might be time for me to get a new watch anyway.”

          Bill tossed Shirley two fifty for the coffee and tip, then headed straight for Wal-Mart.

***

          As Bill handed his watch to the lady behind the glass case, she took a look at it and said, “Another watch battery. I sold more batteries today then I have in a long time.”

          Bill grinned at her and said, “Well, that’s because of the time loop.” He was just joking, but then Bill loved to play word games with people.

          “Time loop?” She said questioning.

          “Sure. Look at the date on my watch. It stopped at Six thirty PM on the 16th of March. That’s tonight.”

          She just smiled back at him and rolled her eyes.

          “No. Really,” Bill, still joking, continued, “Something the Government does today will threw us into a time loop.”

          “Sure.” She smiled.  “I suppose you have proof. That will be $3.97.”

***

          Bill was thinking about his wife not liking what he got her for her birthday. He looked up at the clock on the wall over his desk. Six twenty eight PM. He felt a low rumble

***

          Bill William tossed and turned that morning trying to sleep. After working all night, he wasn’t used to sleeping with the sun shining through the window. Today was his wife’s birthday.

***

          Bill William tossed and turned that morning trying to sleep. After working all night, he wasn’t used to sleeping with the sun shining through the window. Today was his wife’s birthday.

***

          Bill William tossed and turned that morning trying to sleep. After working all night, he wasn’t used to sleeping with the sun shining through the window. Today was his wife’s birthday.

Satan's night out:

This night be dark

Our moon is full

My master Satan

Has all his tools

His tongue was sharpened

With words to please

For your soul he’ll

Take from thee

We demons roam

Both far and wide

On this his most

Hallow night

Dress up like

What you are

For your now

In his back yard

I hear screams

From those who didn’t

Heed my pleas

Now we demons feed

          Jack looked at the note Raven had passed him:  I need to talk to you. For God sake please meet me in back of Saint Mary’s before the party. 

          Great. I go out with her one time a month ago and now she thinks she owns me. Why in the hell did I let the guys talk me into dating her?  “She likes you, Jack.” “She is easy.” “She’ll date anyone.”  Just then a piece of paper hit me. What the hell! Is this note day or something?  I unfolded it was from Bill.  Locker room after class.

          I followed Bill through the Locker room door and before the door could even close he shoved me against the wall.

          Bill had fire in his eyes and started yelling. What have you done? Do I have to lead you around everywhere by the hand like some little kid?  JoAnn just told me Raven is pregnant.  Don’t you know what a fucking rubber is? The morning after pill?  Shit, you’re the number one goalie in the state and I’m the number one defender.  Do you think R.O.U. will pay you extra to be toting a kid around?  Much less a wife.  She is going to have her hand so deep in your pocket.  You do remember what the R.O.U. scout said?  The two of us- not you, not me, not one without the other. Fuck, just stay away from me you, ass hole. Bill stomped out of the locker room.

         What in the hell is he so worked up about?  Shit, it’s not like her kid couldn’t be anyone of the guys on the soccer team.  I know I was not the first or the last.  I’ll tell her she it’s my word against hers.  Everyone in town knows what kind of girl she is.  They would never believe her over me.

          Raven could see Saint Mary’s across the street.  She had put on her nicest dress.  She wanted Jack to be as happy for her as she was.  She had always wanted a baby and why not Jacks baby.  For years she had a crush on him.  She know he lived and breathed soccer.  That is all he would talk about in school.   She would not take that away from him.  They could live together at the dorm then after he got out of R.O.U. they could get married.  No one needed to know but him.  Some of the girls keep asking her. They didn’t know.  All she told them was she was going to live with a sick Aunt up north for the rest of the school year.  She thought she saw Jack wearing the devils costume.  She kissed her father goodbye and started across the street.

          Bill watched her go behind the church.  Hell, Bill and Jack have been friends for too long to let some slut come between them.  When he got home he’d call Jack and tell him what he needed to do so Raven would never bother them again.  If Jack just had the balls to do it she would never tell a soul whose kid it was.  Bill took his little brothers hand and started up the sidewalk to Raven’s house he heard it was going to be one hell of a party tonight.

          Raven saw Jack over by the Oak tree. When she placed her hand on his shoulder he spun around and placed his hand over her mouth pulled out a large knife and with all his might he sunk it as deep as he could into the tree next to her head.  Now tell someone whose baby you think it is.  Then Jack turned and walked away.

          Crying uncontrollable, Raven slid down the tree.  Raven turned her head just enough to watch Jake walk away.

           “Are you okay, young lady?” a soft voice asked Raven. 

          Raven looked up and saw a three foot tall person dressed like a lawn gnome.  “Do I look okay?  The father to my baby just tried to kill me.  I hate him I wish he was dead.”

          The Gnome looked at her.  “Would you give even,” then he smiled and leaned in closer and whispered something in Ravens ear.

          “Yes, even that!” Raven cried.

          Jacked had just stepped out into the street when he heard the tires squealing and felt the car hit him.  He felt something hit him in the back and his body wrapping around it with a loud crack.

          Raven’s father saw the whole thing even Jack hit the fireplug.  From the way his head hit his feet he knew the young man’s back was broken and he was dead before he slid to the sidewalk.  Raven father ran down the steps to check on the man and his shoulder hit someone.  Bill flew backwards off the steps and landed on his back in the flower bed.  Bill started coughing up blood. He looked down to see one of Ravens Garden Gnome’s head sticking out of his chest looking back at him.

          Raven stood up and started laughing.  Jack got what he deserved.  All she wanted was to get out of this damn town.  Now all she has to do was lie to some other dumb ass jock about being pregnant and sucker him into getting her out of here.  She heard low growling behind her and turned to see four demons within inches of her. They looked hungry and were smiling. She tried to scream but it was too late.

         You could hear laughter in the wind. “Yes not just one but all of their souls.” 

1003 WC

My Words:

Words are all I have

To put upon this page

And tell you how I fell

To let you see

My heart and soul

And what to me is real

But you’ll never know

What’s inside of me

Are view it through my sight

So just tag along

On this ride of mine

To see what you might

You could know joy,

Sorrow or pain then say

He’s written this just right

Reality:

Of all the story’s

I try to tell

About my heaven’s

About my hell’s

In your eyes

I can clearly see

Not a single world

Is there for me

Your youth it glows

And lingers on

For mine is dead

And long gone

Reality is twisted

And keeps me blind

My eyes closed

For all time

So read not

The words I write

By this old fool

This very night

I’m quite sure

You’ll understand

You’ve read the words

From a insane man

Friends:

There once was five

And now there’s four

One died and is gone

For evermore

Now there’s four

Out in the sand

Another died from
Their friend's hands

Two gazed into

Each other’s eyes

A shot ring out now

The third one died

One grinned as

The other frowned

A muffle scream of pain

As one hit the ground

Now there was just me

No more could I’ve done

As down the barrel

I looked into the gun

And now there’s none

For friends we’ll always be

As we’re together now

Forever in eternity

I Could:

I could write about

The darkness and what

Goes bump in the night

I could write about

The devil and his demons

That fill me with fright

I could write about

Depression that makes me

Want to hang from a tree

I could write about

Being alone but would

You really want to read

I could write about

All this gloom around me

Still you wouldn’t care

I could write about it

But you’d probably say

Why would this he share

So I’ll just write about

The things it seems

You only want to read

I’d better not write 
About any of these feelings 
That hide deep inside of me

The Abyss:

What is this depression

that tugs at my very being?

Like invisible strings attached

to my heart, trying

to drag it into the darkest

pits of my very soul.

Taking away all

understanding of happiness.

Trying to rip me from the only

light that keeps me sane.

Wrapping me tightly in chains,

in an ocean of emotional feelings.

This overwhelming pain in my heart,

that's begging me to surrender.

Telling me it will set me free

from all these burdens.

Still I see no silver lining

shining down on me.

Only dark clouds blocking

that one sliver of light.

Yet I stand here asking, why?

Is this self-question my only hope

To turn this despair around.

Or will nothing change?

Until one of those faithless days,
I throw myself into that abyss.

The clatter:

The clatter of tongues, on rows of white

They drive me nuts, both day and night

Chattering like squirrels and crows that fight

Their lips sewed shut, would be quite a sight

They think their words, I want to hear

But it’s just sound, bombarding my ears

And to my eyes, it brings forth tears

Like I was jabbed with a red hot spear

Once I tried to halt, all their clatter

Like what I thought, would really matter

They looked at me, like the Mad Hatter

Off with his head, their teeth chattered

They do not see:

As deadly demons wait at my door

I fear of things, that will be forevermore

Of screams roaring within my ears

Of the sins I’ve done, throughout the years

Of my flesh burning from these bones

Because of deeds that were mine alone   

Why do no others truly understand

Of the fear I have for my fellow man

They say I write about just me

But yet it is them I also see

Because in hell most of us will roam

Tho none believe it will be their home

For they say they walk the one true path

And fear not of our makers wrath

And yet on that faithful day

We’ll all beg him not to send us away

I know, I’ll only have me to blame

And they’ll point at others for their shame

Answer:

Five O’clock and not all is well

For I’ve died and went to Hell

Bitter screams heard all around

My life’s clock has ticked down

Darkest gloom fills my very soul

No light from this body glows

Gutter sounds erupted from within

As hells fires around me spin

My flesh consumed by burning coal

There’s no help for me, now I know

I had my chance to make it right

But I turned from his loving sight

He begged me to come, bide with him

But I know best, for I was a man

From Hell I’ve screamed and said

If he calls, fall to your knees and beg

Why:

People wonder

what’s wrong with me.

Why do I have

that faraway look in my eye?

They say I have

too much time on my hands,

I have better things to do.

They tell me they see

no good reason for my inquiries.

As I ask myself

why is it this way or that?

Yes I’ve seen stars 
bright in the night sky 
that are long dead

before man took his first breath.

In a cup of coffee

I’ve seen galaxy’s spinning

then slowly die and

witnessed the heartbeat

of our own planet.

On an orange I’ve watched

the fate of our earth

played out in just days.

Still they ask

what is wrong with me

because I’ve watched

a leaf dance to its death

and asked which one

they thought was next.

Who then is insane?

Me or those standing around

in dark glasses and ear plugs

letting the wonders of life

pass them by.

Is it because they fear

that others might point 
a finger at them and whisper.

Crazy!

Crayons:

Life is fleeting yet death is eternal

Still we cling to life like the Insane

clings to their crayons

We both have no control

over either for our life is but a

flicker on this ribbon of time

Why do we strive to learn

more and more knowing

it will be lost forever

All the possessions we gather

we think we’ll take them with us

Even our loved ones we leave behind

will mean nothing beyond

our final breath still we’ll cling
tightly to our few crayons

I’m not Insane

You read what I’ve written

and tell me that you know,

what is inside of me as

you try and read my soul

From my writing on the wall

you tell me I am insane

But is it me, or yourself, you see,

when you analyze my brain

I know you think my writing

is dark and that’s just fine

but I have to ask you please

stop reading between the lines

Just give me a break people

when you read what I write

It’s not about how I feel,

so try and get that right

What you need to know

when my words you’ve read.

Is I’ll be just fine because,

I don’t want this body dead

If you understood my words

they’re not all gloom and dread

You might see a bit of humor

in what, you’ve just read

My Soul Rest:

Red droplets of my blood

fall on the wooden floor

The rope around my neck

won’t tighten anymore

Swing in the gentle breeze

my soul now long gone

Will anyone find me hanging

I hope it won’t take long

Standing around, some will cry

yet none will know why I died

If I said that I understood

we know that would be a lie

The words I wrote upon this page

most will say, I’m not thinking right

But if they’d lived this life of mine

They too would’ve died last night

I’ve thought about what I did,

and it was for the best

Because of what I’ve done

my soul is now at rest